I finally found a word to describe what I’m up to.
I just watched Devil’s Playground, a 2002 documentary about the Amish rite of passage called “Rumspringa.”
Rumspringa begins for each Amish youth at the age of 16. They are released out into the “English” world, which is the Devil’s Playground, to experience electricity, drugs, sex, parties, and “English” clothing. This goes back to the origins of the Amish religion, which are based on the doctrine of original sin and infant baptisms. The Amish believe in accountability, but for adults, not infants. And so, when Amish children become mature and accountable (when they turn 16), they are free to fully educate themselves about their options. It might take months or years for them to decide whether to join the church or not. Apparently, a staggering 90% do decide to join the church in the end.
I was not aware of Rumspringa, but I really quite like it. I like a lot of things about the Amish people. They are industrious and peaceful. They have quirky traditions, like wearing a beard to show you are married. What I like about Rumspringa is that it at least gives the more adventurous children a chance to find out what they really want to do before they go joining a church. Obviously, the pressure to return to the Amish religion is very strong, from both a cultural and a social standpoint, and I imagine it takes a certain courage to leave.
Rumspringa is a perfect word to describe what I’m up to. My family and friends just don’t understand why I am not going to church. It’s because I can’t live my life based on a decision I made when I was eight years old! And what I’m doing is trying to figure out just what I really believe. I’m having my own personal rumspringa! And the pull of the LDS church I grew up in is incredibly powerful, but for all the wrong reasons. I don’t want to go back to church based on pressure from my family, or based on the fact that most girls around here want a Mormon Man. I have to really decide for myself, by myself.
